The poor little letter ‘i.’Â Â
Before the “.com” boom, It used to proudly hold its own in perfectly nice words like “interesting” and “gift”, while occasionally putting out for words like “misfit” because sometimes we all had to put in the extra effort to “get it done.” It was a great source of pride for “i” to be part of words such as DISINDIVISIBILITIES.
I always had a meaning – it played a special role in the english language and really was an important team player. Then dozens of companies started tagging poor “i” on the start of their name. For the hell of it.  The “i” wasn’t part of anything. It was just hung out there. Like jewelry. It doesn’t get along with many of the consonants that people were forcing it to sit next to, and many i’s went into a deep depression – as did many e’s.
During the .com boom, alphabetic support groups formed, and quickly filled with i’s and e’s that were being abused in this way. The e’s wrote words on the whiteboard such as DISTINGUISHABILITIES, INVISIBILITIES, and FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION while the i’s hugged and re-assured themselves that they were whole vowels and that things were going to be okay, then taking their turn to write DIHYDROXYBENZENEHEXAMETHYLENETETRAMINE for their counterparts.
As the .com bubble burst, things settled down – i’s and e’s seemed to go back into their usual patterns for a bit.
The support groups dissolved….
Then came Apple, putting the ‘i’ next to the spittle-fraught misfit ‘p’
And now, Google’s done it.
If you know a letter ‘i’ – give them a call. And tell them how much they mean to you. They need the support right now.
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